Refocusing

If you've ever had a baby, you know all too well how much fun it can be - and by fun, I'm talking about quite the opposite.  I'm talking about the barrage of hormones that inevitably come crashing down on about the third day after your baby's born.

These aren't your ordinary hormones.  These aren't the ones that made you cranky for nine months.  Those, I can handle. 

No, these are the kind that make you actually miss being pregnant.  The kind that make the tiniest things, the lamest of things make you want to cry. 

Yeah.  They're cruel.

I knew they were coming.  I prayed hard in preparation for this blessed event.  Mostly, I prayed they'd be your typical post-pregnancy baby blues, and not post-partum depression like I had with Quin.

I'm still in the midst of them.  I feel better, today, though... I think it has a lot to do with lack of production of my milk.  I don't nurse.  *Pause for the shock to set in*  Nope.  Not me.  I tried it and I know what works and what doesn't work for me - and this is something that does NOT work for me.  I know they say breast is best, and I don't argue that.  But to me, this is like saying, "Stressed is best". 

I know I'm still in the two week "honeymoon phase" of babyhood, but I'm going to hang on to the fact that the last two nights I've gotten more than eight hours of sleep.  I credit the bottle for that.  And all the praying I've done... well, mostly because of the praying I've done. 

I love that even though things seem slightly gloomy to me, these days, I can still see the Lord's hand in my life.  He's here helping me.  He's answering my prayers.  I may have the haze of the hormone fog clouding my vision, but He's still helping me see clearly enough to know that this will pass.  I will gradually start finding normal, again.  I'll be able to find my groove, again.  Life goes on.

I love that I'm not pregnant, anymore.  I love that I can wear my jeans, again.  I love that I have my in-laws here to help while my husband's working 12 hour days, five days a week for a while.  I love that my two year old loves his new brother.  I love having my family around me and a home with lots of windows and my MIL's Mood Magic for Women essential oil.  :)

I love this sleeping ball of sweetness curled up on my lap.  Such a precious.  :)

Yep, it's for real...

As I sit here with a new baby on my lap (no longer IN my lap), my sweet two year old rubbing his head (I've gathered this is his favorite way to love on him), reading my last post - I get hit with a huge dose of emotions (and hormones) as I realize:  this is my new life.

Physically, I feel great.  A little sore, but that's to be expected after surgery.  I'm wearing my old jeans (though my legs are still retaining a lot of water) and looking pretty normal, so I'm told.

Mentally - yeah.  We'll go there in a few days to a week when the rush of hormones dissipates.  I hate the hormone fog - when one can't see anything clearly and the lamest things make me want to cry.  I know it will pass, just hopefully soon.

There were no exciting details to my Owen's birth story - we went in to the hospital at 5am Tuesday morning, got the IV started, wheeled into the operating room, enjoyed the nauseating comfort of a spinal (good times), heard my baby cry (and cry and cry) at 7:41am, started to cry myself, gave the third and final consent to tie up the ol' tubes, then laid in recovery till they wheeled me up to see my baby. 

I'm glad for a boring story.  No problems with the pregnancy or the baby is fine with me.  He had a hard time catching on to the whole eating thing at first, but he's doing well, now.  He was 6 lbs. 14 oz. and birth and 6 lbs. 13 oz. today - not too shabby.  No jaundice.  Cries when he's trying to wake up or when he thinks he's starving.  Has a stork bite and angel kiss birth mark like Natalie did (and still kind of does). 

Life is good.  I feel like a liar saying that just now - only because of the hormones.  (The very hormones that make me miss being pregnant.  haha) These will pass and life will find a new normal here in my home. 

Now I just need to post some pictures...

Is this for real?

I'm sitting here at almost 3am, trying to decide if these are real contractions that don't go away when switching positions or if I need to go back to bed slightly disappointed, again...

My in-laws are here.  I'm loving this - they help so much! :) My kids have been loving it, too... especially Quin.  He's been playing and playing and playing with his Papa.  I've been able to do things that need to be done without feeling guilty for neglecting him... but I'm also missing him. 

He's been my little Momma's boy for going on three years, now.  I still can't go to the bathroom without a little, "I come with you?". 

I've told my husband a few times in the past week or so that I still haven't wrapped my mind around the fact that I'm having another baby - that when my pregnancy's over, there will be a fourth child in our home.  Everything's ready.  Really ready.  My hips, especially. 

I love my life.  I love being able to kneel down at night and thank my Heavenly Father for so many blessings.  I'm so thankful this pregnancy has been uneventful, and that even if these contractions stop, I only have until next Tuesday to wait. 

Well, for now, it's back to one last game of solitaire before I decide how to call it for the rest of the night... :)

Kairos

Every mom (parent) should read this.  Seriously.  :)

This is my little boy, all forlorn...

Whenever there's a fresh blanket of snow in my yard, this little dude gets itchin' to make his mark before he's even dressed in the morning.  I think he pushed around everything that could possibly be pushed around our yard, today.  The wind was bitter, his nose was drippy, and he finally decided it was time to come back in:

I just love that stinky little face!

I wish I had had a digital camera and a blog when my older two kids were little - I feel like I get so many more pictures of my two year old than I did them. 

Gaining Spiritual Insight

I read an article in one of my church's publications, recently, about the condescension of Jesus Christ.  One part, in particular, stuck out to me.  I wanted to record it  - for my own records and to share.  :)

"The Lord continues to do for mankind the things He did during His earthly ministry that were part of His condescension.  He, Himself - or by angels or authorized servants on earth - preaches the gospel, administers ordinances, performs miracles, and heals the afflictions of people today.  He continues to be mindful of us.  He is mindful of us as a people.  But most miraculously He is still mindful of us individually.  In some marvelous way, and though He is not physically present with each of us, He still feels the tug on the hem of His garment from a humble handmaiden in the midst of a multitude.  He still hears the cry of the blind, perceives the longing of the sincere publican, calls common men to be His servants, tells the repentant sinner to go and sin no more.  He still pleads our cause universally and individually before the Father.  He still calls us by name and invites us to arise and come forth unto Him.  He still condescends from His high and holy place to lift us."

This article made what He did for us even more real for me.  I love my Savior!

"May we remember the Lord - who He is, what He has done, and what He has promised to do.  Before and after He was a baby in Bethlehem and a carpenter in Nazareth, He was and is the God of Israel and the God of the whole earth.  He was and is the King of kings and Lord of lords.  He is the Holy and Only Begotten Son of the Living God.  He was with the Father from the beginning.  He is in the Father and the father in Him; and in Him has the Father glorified His name.  May we remember and believe that He has all wisdom and all power in heaven and earth.  And may we have faith that He yet condescends to help and lift the least and the last, even you, even me."

(Ensign, December 2011, "The Condescension of Jesus Christ", by David L. Frischknecht, pg. 51-55)

December Highlights

My oldest turned ten.  TEN, people! Geeze.  I'd like for you to feast your eyes on the best birthday cake I have EVER made:

For the record - what he looked like that day:

******************************

Creativity at it's best:

(In case you're wondering, that'd be baby Jesus, Mary, a sheep and a donkey going for this one horse open sleigh ride.)

******************************

And, last but not least, my son redefines the phrase, "It's the thought that counts":

******************************

It was a good month that passed WAY too quickly (wasn't it just December 1st, like, yesterday??).  We learned new things, had much festivities, did many things to make the holiday(s) joyful, increased our intake of spontaneously-purchased junk food ten-fold, and loved every minute of it!

Here's to a new year, new babies, new goals and celebrating life all over again!