Moving forward

I withdrew my son from his last school, today.

He'll be going to a new school, next year, which I'm so very thrilled about.

As I walked to my car, though, I got all emotional.

We started this last school a month after it had already started.  My kids didn't know anyone.  They had just been moved from one state to another, mostly against their will.

It was rough.

I remember feeling stressed to tears on a daily basis.  To know my kids were having a hard time and not liking their new school made things worse.

My boy whom I withdrew, today, struggled the most, I think.  He had such a hard time going each day.  I had to practically drag him in, and he usually ended up crying.  Once, he was so stressed about going, he got sick in the parking lot.  Another time, I had to have two teachers hold him, back, just so I could leave the building.  I questioned him in as many ways as I could to make sure nothing horrible was happening to him.  I talked to his teacher.  I talked to the front office.  He just had major anxiety.  And it was hard.

So, why the emotion, today?

Because we have been through so much and we survived.  It was bittersweet to leave that school.  I won't miss it; I'm just glad we're in a better place and settled and finally happy to be here.

The thing I said the most during those troubled times was, "We can do hard things".

And we did.

Don't Blink

Last night, I was called in to the room of my little boys.

My Quinnie had leg aches in both of his shins.

I sat and rubbed his legs till the medicine started working.  It didn't take long.

It made me think of all the times my own legs, hurt, in the middle of the night.  I remember my dad letting me lay next to him so he could rub my knees till the medicine started working.

I remember all the nights I had to lay by my Andur because he wouldn't stay in his bed or go to sleep if I didn't.  I even made a bunch of stuffed animals look like me under a blanket so I could leave.  It only worked, once.

I remember when I would put my Natalie in her crib, she would move her legs in circular motions as if to find the coziest spot.  She'd always lose her binky in her bed... which is how she eventually got rid of them; they just all got lost.

Quin had us taking turns on a nightly basis because of night terrors and bed-wetting.  Up until he was 5, actually.  Turned out he had sleep apnea, which explained his sleep patterns since he was a wee one.  I've lost a lot of sleep because of him.

Owen was the one who needed us to leave oh-so-quietly.  We greased doors and doorknobs and even got rid of sticky spots in the doorjamb, for that kid.

I heard a bonk on the wall, followed by a sleepy, "Ow".  My 4 yr old then instinctively moved away from his assailant.

My Quin was, quite literally, growing right before my eyes.  They all have.

It didn't take long.

It's going by way too fast.

That's what happens when you blink.