You know it's hormones when:

1. You want to put your baby back inside - even if just for the night.
2. You think about your maternity clothes and cry because you miss wearing them.
3. You see all the food in your fridge and remember who bought it and you cry.
4. You make your kids' breakfast/lunch for the first time in two weeks and you cry.
5. You actually miss being pregnant.
6. Your son is wearing dirty socks and your mood flips from good witch to bad witch.
7. You see the mail unopened on the desk and you cry.
8. You see your "things to do before the baby comes" list and you cry.
9. You can't even look at your past blogs because they'll probably make you cry.
10. You think about all the tissue boxes you have in your house because your mother-in-law needs them and you cry.


Dumb hormones.

My wave of hormones has arrived. Like I haven't had enough of those the past couple weeks. Seriously, though, I look back and think "Man, I'm such a whiner!" So, to those of you who've somehow found a way to suffer through it via my blog, thank you and so sorry. :)

Here are a few more pics:

One last belly shot:



Such a sweet little face! LOVE those cheekies!



My wonderful in-laws and sweet kids:


Speaking of in-laws, I want to give a HUGE public THANK YOU for all the many, MANY wonderful things you've done for us these past few weeks:
1. For packing up at the last minute and driving five hours to be with us when we thought the baby was coming early.
2. For bringing all the many wonderful things for us in your small car.
3. For ALL the things you've bought for us since you got here (food, disposal, garage fixings, food, shoes, medicine, food... all of it!). (My kitchen's never been so packed!)
4. For doing the dishes after almost every meal.
5. For watching the kids so Matt could be with me in the hospital.
6. For all the baby stuff since I had none.
7. For helping so much with the meals and my kids and driving places...
8. For everything!

It's lonely without you guys here, we miss you so much already! Hope you get home safe! (They're driving there as I type this.)

Man, my emotions are out of whack today. I'm just glad I know why and that this will pass. All is well in my home today. :)

Thank you all for sharing my baby's story! I'm so glad he's here!

He's here!

Just wanted to say real quick that we're home, he's healthy, I'm healthy and all is well!

He was born Thursday morning at 7:01am. He weighed 8 lbs. 1.6 oz. and was 21 inches long!

Here are two pics, with more to come:

His poor face has newborn rash all over it... and I have to say, this picture doesn't do him justice,
it just doesn't look like him! Plus, it was only two hours after he was born, so naturally he looks different now. We just haven't taken any recent pics yet. But we will!

I Believe in Miracles!

I never thought the sight of a dumb CAT dozer would make me cry. (My husband will probably correct me on what type of equipment this actually is, but I don't care.)

Now I just need prayers to get my doctor out... and more prayers that will get us out in two days when it snows yet again. The hospital (I've called them twice today) seems hopeful that Thursday's still the big day, so I'm holding them to it!

The Day After Tomorrow

Ever see that movie? Need a refresher?




I find myself thinking about this movie today... here's why:

This is a picture of across the street and my husband's car in front of my house:




This is a picture of my in-laws' car in my drive way with my car behind:




This is my backyard (yes, the snow is a foot away from the top of the fence!):




And another from my backyard (notice the top of a pine tree sticking out of the snow):




The other reason I'm thinking of this movie:

The day after tomorrow is when I'm supposed to have my c-section. I called the hospital and my doctor has NOT been able to get in... he's stuck. Like the rest of Gillette. In Wyoming, when it snows, they tend to close the roads outside of the towns because, really, who wants to plow all of Wyoming so people can get from town to town? But when they close the roads INSIDE of town, you know it's bad. That's where we're at right now. My husband's been home from work two days and my kids home from school. And I'm pregnant, 1 week and 2 days away from my due date. To say I'm panicked is inaccurate. I'm numb. I've been praying and praying. My kids being sick is the least of my worries at the moment. If they call me to reschedule, I don't know what I'll do. You might just hear my screaming from wherever you're reading this. I apologize for any foul language you may be able to decipher amidst the screaming.

Please pray for me. I could really use a dose of faith and patience right now.

Humility and a Heart Full of Thanks

“The Saints should always remember that God sees not as man sees; that He does not willingly afflict His children, and that if He requires them to endure present privation and trial, it is that they may escape greater tribulations which would otherwise inevitably overtake them. If He deprives them of any present blessing, it is that he may bestow upon them greater and more glorious ones by-and-by.” - Elder George Q. Cannon (1827-1901) "That simple reminder accomplishes an incredible task - it helps me to feel grateful for my trials and give me hope for the blessings that will come when I have shown the Lord that I trust in Him and have endured my trials well."

Translation:

My daughter has a fever today. My son's nose is gunky. If I had had the baby last weekend like I so desperately wanted, he would've been exposed to this. And the weather's going to be a little on the crappy side next week - my in-laws don't travel in bad weather, so I wouldn't have had them here to do all the wonderful things they're doing for us had they not come early. I can't even read this quote without feeling the greatest humility and a bit teary-eyed. The Lord knows best. I was able to lay by my little girl for most of the day and read to her and give her all the attention she needed. I don't think I would've been able to do that so well with a baby on the outside of me and no in-laws here to be wonderful. I don't fear my baby getting sick, but it was nice to be a good mommy to Natalie today. Andur spent the day with his daddy outside, which did them both a lot of good, which probably wouldn't have been so easy to do with a baby on the outside of me. Last minute bonding time with our kids and in-laws here to help - wouldn't trade that for anything.

And Thursday's just days away. :)

I Feel Like A Kid Waiting For Christmas!

My house is clean. Again. Or still. Whatever.

My bag is packed.

My in-laws are here.

I'm showered.

My legs are shaved.

The crib is set up.

The baby clothes are all clean and seperated and put away.

Now what?

You'd think I was two weeks past my due date the way I go on about this!

My son was born 11 days early. My daughter was born 5 weeks early. I have 13 days till my due date, and 6 days till my c-section. My doctor told my mother-in-law yesterday that he doesn't think I'll wait till next Thursday. I'm still only dilated to a 2. I'm not contracting - well, effectively, anyway. BUT I'M READY. I really, really hope my doctor's right. He's convinced I'll go tomorrow (Saturday) because we're supposed to have beautiful near 70 weather and he wants to go ride his motorcycle. I could go tonight! Sometime this weekend would ROCK! I have to wonder... is my overly impatient preparedness making me stay pregnant? I'm not supersticious, really. I do know things happen when they're supposed to. But, do you think?? If I really try hard to stop thinking about it (yeah, right) could it happen?? I really want the excitement of my water breaking or going into labor. I didn't get that with my last pregnancy and I loved it with my first. It's nice knowing that I CAN'T go past next Thursday, but at the same time, BORING. And, did I mention I'm impatient? Maybe I should take a trip... nothing more than two hours away from home, but maybe that'll spark things...

I'll just lose myself in a book... that'll take my mind off things. Maybe. Or not. I should boycott blogging until I have something other than my impatience to blog about. Or come up with something totally random to blog about so to throw all y'all off and give you something other than COME OUT BABY to read about.

Weekend Get-Away

Well, not really.

These are the emotions I experienced this weekend:

optimistic
hopeful
excited
happy

-then-

disappointed
frustrated
angry
bitter

I could name a few more, but I'm passed feeling them now so really, they don't come to mind as easily.

The story:

Saturday night, we were debating taking our kids to the planetarium for some free family fun, but it would make for a late night, hence the debate. My husband says "Hey, maybe the chairs there will put you into labor." I'm thinking, yeah right, but whatever. So, we go.

About an hour and a half into the show, the contractions start.

Two and a half hours after that, they're every two minutes and lasting long so I call my doctor. It's about 11:30pm by now, just FYI.

He tells me to come in to the hospital to be checked. I get my bags, we wake our kids and head out. I'm checked in to the hospital about 12:15am, Sunday morning. My contractions keep it up for the next few hours. This is when I'm starting to feel the first four aforementioned emotions.

Then they check my cervix. Side note: Nurses with short fingers should NOT be checking cervixes of women who've torn during previous deliveries. Holy feels-like-you're-ripping-me-a-new-one, Batman!

Anyway, I'm somewhat close to a 1.5 on the dilation scale. And not effaced. Dumb. But, the contractions are still there, so I'm still feeling good.

Well, apparently, this website is wrong. 38 weeks is considered "fully baked". (I'm only 37.5) Again, dumb. So, what do they do? They try to STOP my contractions. They don't even consider delivering the baby yet (via c-section). After TWO shots of terbutaline, they still haven't fully stopped. Still, they don't want to do the c-section. Why? Because I'm not dilating. Well, my doctor checked me and said I was a 2, and 25% effaced. So, instead, at 4am that same morning, they fully admit me for a 30 hour observation. Fine, I'm still here, something can still happen... although, the last four emotions I mentioned are starting to kick in. I send my husband and still-awake kids home. My husband calls my in-laws first thing (well, later) in the morning and they head up to help, just in case they DO decide to deliver.

All this time, they're checking my cervix and making me drink a lot of water and sleep a lot to make my contractions stop. Then another short-fingered nurse checks my cervix and says I'm 1.5. How the heck does THAT happen, I'd like to know? I ask my doctor, he says everyone measures different. Whatever. Basically, though, I'm still the same. So, at 10:30am Monday morning, they send me home. Still pregnant.

I struggled GREATLY all through Sunday. I couldn't talk without getting so angry and crying. I was so mad they weren't delivering me. Who's fault is it? Mine. I had my hopes too high, even though they told me from the beginning they weren't in favor of me delivering at this time. Finally, a late night (Sunday) talk with my mom got the attitude adjustment I sorely needed. I wasn't having faith, I wasn't remembering it was in the Lord's hands and that He has a reason for everything. I was being selfish and thinking only of myself and not about what was best for my baby. My mom said a lot of good things, so if you're reading this, thanks Mom. I needed that.

So now, I'm much humbled. I know the Lord knows best and I trust that. I know I don't have much longer to wait. And now, I have my in-laws here for when that time comes and to keep my company during the day. I got to have an exciting moment in the hospital and now know that when he's ready, he'll come, and not a moment sooner.

So, that's the adventure that was my weekend. And, I'm still pregnant.

Preoccupied...

I had half my house cleaned this morning before I realized my shirt was on backwards. Go me!

My mind has been a little obsessed lately, if you haven't noticed. I've opted to NOT do jumping jacks due to my daughters sad-but-true predictions. I'm thinking of some other ways to help coax him out:

1. Have a party continually till my water breaks. Maybe if he hears how much fun it is out here, he'll want to come out and see what the fuss is all about.

2. Reverse psychology. Tell him NOT to come out. As one of MY offspring, he'll naturally do what he's told NOT to do.

3. Make sure there's one thing left to do on my "List of Things to Do Before This Baby Comes" at all times. Surely he won't be able to resist catching me UNprepared.

4. OR maybe he senses I'm not TOTALLY prepared and he's waiting for me to be. Maybe completing my list isn't such a bad idea...

- OR -

5. I could just stop thinking about it ALL the time. A watched pot never boils, right?

Are you sick of hearing about this yet?? LOL

My Water Broke!!

HA! Bet that got your attention!

Yeah, right, though. I so wish! I did have real contractions the other night... but then they stopped. Dumb contractions. My doctor said I'm still measuring big today, and purposely would NOT check my cervix because he didn't want to set off more contractions. I told him that would be OK with me, but he just laughed and said no. Dang it. Come out, baby! My husband and I joke that I should do jumping jacks... ouch. No thanks. Not that desperate. Not desperate at all, really, just a tad impatient. BUT, I do only have 2 weeks and 2 days to go... translation: 16 days. I can do that, right? It'll be here in no time, right?? Maybe I will do some jumping jacks... If the earth starts a shakin' in your neck of the woods, think of me, would ya?

Confrontation vs. Counterattack

As I've been praying about it this week on what to do about my Visiting Teacher, some things have occurred to me:

1. Perhaps I was a wee bit harsh in calling her a "molester". She is a very nice woman and comes to church by herself (her husband is not a member, and her kids are not active/aren't members) and means well. I say this because H.F. told me she does.

2. I blew this WAY out of proportion - I blame hormones. Or the weather. (lol Rosa)

3. I do NOT do confrontations, unless someone confronts ME. I'm not good at them, I don't like them, and I live my life so as not to have to have them.

So, what to do? I was going over in my head what I could possibly say to her to help her understand my discomfort, which was actually making me more uncomfortable. My thoughts then switched... what is something I can do that I AM good at? How can I handle this in a way that would be satisfying to my self-worth and at the same time be effective? So, instead of praying for help on what to say, I prayed for that instead and got my answer immediately.

Here's what I did:

Instead of waiting for her to approach me, I approached her. And before she could even get her hands on me, I hugged her. I'm OK with hugging. It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable and I felt in control of the situation having initiated it myself. We then had a very nice, very comfortable conversation, and I was able to walk away feeling good about it. So there. Mission accomplished. My husband said "What about next time?" I'll cross that bridge when I get there. H.F. knows the situation and will guide my thoughts and actions as to how to handle whatever lies ahead.

What's in a name?

So, for the most part, I've been calling people by the first initial of their first name. My husband is convinced someone can steal my identity and take over my life from reading my blog. My thinking is, after reading my blog one would think "You know what? You can keep it". I've slipped a couple times, once more recently. I think all who read my blog are people I know and for the most part can trust. So, just FYI, my son is A (Andur) and my daughter is N (Natalie). My husband, M, still wishes to remain anonymous... lol. Whatever. And, I'm sure I've made it quite clear what my new one's name will be - Q (Quin). So there. Steal my identity, if you dare.

I can't believe I almost forgot what day it was!

So much has been going through my mind lately! From "Am I really ready for this?" to "Come out already!" and everything in between. I don't know what the reality of thinking he'll come early is but he's coming and wow. That's so huge! My house is totally clean. Like totally. Everything's ready. I have all I need... well, mostly. I have a list of things I've been doing everyday to every other day to maintain the clean of my house and have been going through my mind who I'd call first if I needed to take such action... I'd say preparedness-wise, I'm ready. Physically, I'm SOOOOO ready. Mentally - hmmm. Still not 100%. Maybe he sensese that, maybe he'll stay put until I give the whole-hearted go-ahead on that.... maybe I better get my thoughts in order so they match my other ready-ness so we can do this already! I asked my poor husband if he ever gets sick of hearing me talk about nothing but baby and what I'm feeling or whatever... he said he doesn't, that he likes and wants to be involved. What a nice boy! But, man, taking that next step... going from talking about him to HOLDING him. Have I really grasped that reality yet? I don't think I have. I want to, and don't think that reality is graspable until I actually AM holding him. Even then, I think it'll take a few days to set in. So, Val, if you're reading this, I totally get it now. I don't think you're crazy anymore. :) I've been a mom of two kids for almost SIX years. We've pretty much had the same routines for that long. I've been able to go on auto-pilot with pretty much everything. I'm not afraid of the new routines, because I think I'm good at routines. I've had two babies, got both sleeping through the night by the time they were 1-2 months old, naps were cake, feedings the same time everyday. I've taught them both to talk, read, count, blah blah blah well before they needed to know it. For the most part, they're well-behaved. It's all good and kosher, as my husband would say. We have the perfect sized house for two kids, the perfect size cars for two kids, and basically two of everything else that was/is needed. Now we're adding a third to the pot. After we said we were done. Done done done. I'm not wanting to send him back, believe you me. I'm very excited for this new and very exciting addition to our little organized family. I think it's awesome that among other things, I can teach my two oldest a new type of responsibility - one that involves diaper changing, bottle making, quiet being (yeah right, we'll see about that), and good example setting. What an adventure! I'm so excited for this! A new step in my life, something that will add more character to my every day doings! What an awesome opportunity to be a mom! And how blessed I feel that my husband fully supports me staying at home. I truly pity those who can't and even more those who won't. To be there for every single little step of my child's life is something that I don't think anything in this world even comes close to comparing to. Ok, I think that was all for my benefit... the whole talking it all out (or typing, rather). I'm now 99.9% mentally ready for this. Can anyone really be 100% ready? Really? Only 21 more days to go!

(Or less! Please less!)


http://3dpregnancy.parentsconnect.com/calendar/36-weeks-pregnant.html

What happens when an indestructible force comes in contact with an immovable object?

My husband posed this question to me last night... I tried to answer it simply, but apparently it can't be answered... this has baffled scientists for centuries. Well, I'll tell you what happens...

Me - the indestructible force (or so I thought)

LDS women gabbing in the R. S. room - immovable object(s)

I was doing so well avoiding my "weekly molester" this past Sunday, hence my believing myself to be the indestructible force. Then came the immovable objects. I was trapped. I made sure to sufficiently cover my growing belly (and it be growing, check this out) with my belongings, as planned prior to attending church. (I really did make plans for this.) You'll never guess what she did! She looked down at my stomach, saw that it was unavailable for groping, and proceeded to fondle my shirt collar and briefly stroke my chest below my neck. What the heck, lady?! I couldn't believe it! I told my husband what happened and his response was "You told her not to touch you, right?" I have every right to do this, right? It's MY body, MY personal space, MY right to say "Hey, knock it off!", right? Why is it, then, I can't do it? I don't have to be rude, but seriously, why can't I do this?? Any suggestions??

So, the answer to the all-baffling question is this: The indestructible force gets groped. Again.

Did I mention this woman is my Visiting Teacher? Argh!

My thoughts after this morning's doctor appointment:

I was at the doctor last Friday, measuring a mere 37 weeks the day after I turned 35 weeks...

WELL.... today, just 4 days later, I'm measuring 39 WEEKS!!! This made my doctor giggle and joke about seeing me Saturday.... you never know, right?? LOL