He sees me

I have two teenagers.

Those who've been there or are still doing that understand what a fully loaded statement that can be.

I've been riddled with guilt and heartache, this morning, as I feel I'm failing mine in some way.  I feel I'm not doing a good enough job with them because I feel they have little respect for me.  It's been a rough morning.

I try to do all I can to keep the company of the Spirit with me while alone, during the day.  One sure way that takes place is the music I choose.

Heavenly Father knew of my sadness, this morning.  He had a very clear message for me as I sat at my desk feeling quite low.

This song started playing and I knew it was from Him.

I'm so thankful He see's me and knows my worth.  I'm so thankful He reminds me of that worth when I forget.

I know He loves me.

The Answer

I want to share this.

I've had a very specific prayer in my heart for a while, now.  I've had small answers, here and there.  More like pieces to a puzzle, I guess.  But I didn't feel I was getting the whole picture.  I still felt like there was more to be said.

I have a habit of keeping things for later.  Projects, books, random gift bags, recipes... I'm very good at, "I'll get to that, later".

I received an article in my email about two and a half months, ago.  I fully intended on reading it... eventually.

I don't know why I chose today; there was no premeditation to my action.  I just opened it without thinking and started reading.  It didn't take long to realize this was the answer I had been looking for.  It completed my puzzle.

God hears and answers our prayers.  He spoke directly to me, this morning.  I have felt so desperate for what He had to say, I knew I needed but to listen.

Or read the article that's been sitting in my email for two and a half months.

{In case you're wondering, here's the link to the article that I'm sure will change my life for the better.}

Refining Process

I just had a parental realization.

I was sitting here thinking about my children and their personalities and the way they interact with others.  My children are perfectly flawed, as any child is.  As any of us are, really.  But there are certain things they do or views they have that have me fearing I've failed to teach them the correct way*.  Then, I took into account that they don't just watch me.... my husband has an influence on them, too.  He and I are SO very different in SO many ways, especially when it comes to how we interact with others.  I think the way I do it is better.  That's not me trying to put him, down.  That's just me thinking I like the way I do things better than the way he does things.

So, as I sat here thinking, I thought - dang.  They get a lot of their ways of doing things from their father.  My killer control-freak instinct jumped right in and freaked out about how I wish so badly I could just change that.

But, I can't.

Then I remembered - I wasn't always a peach when it came to peopling.  {Yes, that's my own word.}  I was judgy (or so I remember my mom telling me).  I was superbly opinionated and so insecure in my own way of seeing things that I felt threatened by the way others thought, should it differ from my own.  I was awkward, too, I'm sure.  And maybe easily intimidated.

Now, I'm not saying my people skills are so stellar, I have no room for improvement.  But, I do know how to handle myself when it comes to social interactions.  I've had many jobs in the customer service field - both over the phone and face-to-face.  I've had many opportunities to fine-tune my skills.  I've had to learn and practice.

My kids are not only going to be influenced by their parents.  The world still gets a go at 'em.

I just hope I've instilled enough confidence in them and their abilities that they recognize and choose to soak up the good stuff.


*My way.