Stupor of Thought

Stupor, by definition, means "a condition of greatly dulled or completely suspended sense of feeling."  The word stupor derives from the Latin word stupure, meaning insensible.  Insensible means "meaningless", among other things.

I never really knew what a stupor of thought was until I had one.  Usually, when the answer to a prayer is "no", I know it, like really know it.  It's like when you're sitting at a car dealership waiting for the salesman to "run the numbers" and the only thought that's screaming through your head is "LEAVE NOW".  Just like when something's right, I know it, like really know it, and it happens without me having to do much about it (like when we found this house, our old house sold in only TWO WEEKS, whereas the house two houses away from us is STILL for sale, going on a year now) and in my head it stays right without a shadow of a doubt.

For the past two weeks, I've been feeling confused, doubtful, frustrated, lack of clarity, and so on.  My thoughts about a certain subject have been muffoogled, as my dear word-inventing husband would put it.

So, last night, the hubby and I had a long talk and decided we both don't feel right about having another baby right now.  That doesn't mean we won't ever, but for whatever reason, now is not the right time. 

I just wanted it to be right so bad, but it just wasn't.  Dang it.  ;)  Oh, well.  On with life.