Plan B... or something like that.

The contract on our house fell through.

I'm back on facebook.

I haven't lost anymore weight.

I haven't gained any, either.

I haven't really been trying, though.

Ever feel like you've hit a dead end?

My son has GeoTrax.  He has a track piece that looks like this:



This is what comes to mind when I try to envision my life, right now.  I feel I've arrived at the part of the track that just ends.

No growth.  No learning.  No progression.

Nothing.

I'm in the process of re-evaluating this situation.

I think it has a lot to do with my spirituality and sanity levels.  Maybe even my motivation levels.

I've been babysitting.  I've gotten to the point in this vocation where I block it all out - I get on my computer or delve into my current book or whatever - whatever it takes to get away from the noise and the chaos and the kids and life (these are pretty much all the same thing, p.s.).

So, I'm stopping.  I'm burned out.  I've actually been burned out for quite a while, but had a good day/moment when I thought, Hey - I can do this, again!

Yeah, right.

I've written myself a letter explaining how this is a bad idea, should I ever try to do this, again, in the future.  My husband's assured me he'll shoot me if I even mention it.  (ha ha)

So, what now?

That's the question on my mind, lately, with a lot of things in my life.

What, now?

My house isn't selling, so what, now?

I haven't been losing weight, so what, now?

I have three rather large piles of (clean) laundry in three different rooms because of daycare distractions, so what, now?

I don't feel the connection with my Heavenly Father that I have in times, past, so what, now?

We've been eating out way too much because I'm too worn out from babysitting to make dinner and we've spent too much money doing this, so what, now?

As I type this, the song "Work Work" by Britney Spears is playing on my music-playing-device (clean version, of course).

That's my answer.  Stop being lazy.  Stop just waiting for something to happen.

Make it happen.  Get up.  Move.  Stop hiding in books or in computer land.  Just do it.

Do something about it, already.  Put the laundry away.  Read my scriptures.  Pray.  Exercise.  Stop eating out - put something in the dang crock pot, for crying out loud.

As for my house? What more can I do? Have faith.  Keep having faith.

I also have something new I'm checking out to hopefully bring more money into our home, but it's taking a smidge more research and soul searching before I publicly commit.  Should be fun, though.  A new adventure always is.

Lazy.  Procrastination.  Moping.  I need to cross these words out of my mental dictionary.  I need to step it up and bring my A game.

I need to be ME, again.